Yep, you read that right.

I was told this week, via text…which was awesome….by someone I hardly know…which is even more AWESOME…that I was parsimonious with my feelings.

I immediately felt like an idiot.

I am a smart girl.  But I had no clue what that meant.  With a quick google search, I felt like even more of an idiot.

Basically, he was stating that I was frugal or stingy  the context was slightly wrong…but I’ll let that slide) with my feelings.

How dare he!

He doesn’t know me!

How can a stranger try to peg me as frugal and stingy with my feelings!?!?!?!?!

Then I realized…maybe he is sensing that I had already erected the wall.  The wall of bitchy.  The wall of, “I don’t have patience for your drama so I am using a limited word count to finish any conversation with you.”

In that regard, he was spot on.

All of this brings me to this point…

Although there has been great interest from my friends and family to share the screenshots of what these lovely gems in the online dating world have sent me, I am trying to be the bigger person and not embarrass the crap out of these men.  Even though, I am fairly confident that they wouldn’t have any idea that their behavior should be embarrassing as grown ass men.

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However, I will share the following insights I have learned from my online dating experiences.

  1. Correct grammar is imperative.  I am THAT judgmental.  If you can not write a sentence that utilizes basic capitalization and punctuation, you are officially on target with my kindergarten students.  I refuse to date a 5 year old. Or even suffer through a texting conversation.
  2. Do NOT lie on your profile.  I was raised by a family of police officers.  I am a teacher.  I will see through your crap in two seconds.  I will judge you for that also.
  3. Use your brain.  Don’t ask me my name.  Don’t ask me where I live.  Those two details happen to be posted on my profile (no worries peeps…not the exact location).  But it tells me a lot about you, you are lazy and you don’t use your brain.
  4. If I go so far as to come meet you…especially at your home.  Try to make it look like you care enough about me to walk through the house and clean up the clutter and trash.  Because when I walk into a place and immediately feel like you are really looking for a maid….I will peace out faster than have ever seen a girl move.
  5. I am sure there are many, many more….but I don’t want to bore you with my rant.

If you are out there with me in the dating cesspool… Check out this article for more guidance and hope in this crazy world!  I am going to see if any of the tips help weed out the scum!

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Back to the house next time!

Peace out peeps.

 

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