One of the reoccurring themes of my life can be summed up in one little word.
For years, the idea of even writing a post like this was painful. Apparently, I have done a pretty fabulous job of building some walls up around the word and then was able to reinforce the idea with stigmas and beliefs I have developed and adopted to validate my relationship with being….solo.
One of the most comment battles I have struggled with in owning this identifier is the one where you feel like a failure. In order to combat that, I worked even harder to prove that not only can I do solo life, but I ENJOY IT DAMNIT!! When the reality is, I do truly into about 87.5% of living a solo life, however there are obviously always situations where I would enjoy the companionship (like when it’s time to check the mail box….”Oh, sweetie!”).
However, the in last couple of years, for a variety of reasons, I have been becoming a little too comfortable in my solo skin. I would like to believe it’s because I work my ass off and that by time I get home, shower and have a chance to relax, the last thing I want to do is leave and go do something else. Although, I know it is because it is EASIER to stay home and chat with the dogs, versus a complete stranger.
Even Google has a skewed perception of eating alone. While researching images for this post, I Googled “Eating Alone” and the very first sub-category is “sad”.
Then I had a conversation with a few of my girlfriends.
Y’all, there are women out there who LOVE to do the solo thing!!! They look forward to it, it empowers them, it frees them to do exactly what they want to do and most importantly, it means they are LIVING this life, not just cruising through it.
I currently have a pal who on her like 326th solo vacation, this time at the beach, and she’s loving and OWNING it! She also shared this pretty amazing article on the topic, which I of course will share with y’all!
I have a friend who eats out solo almost weekly…AT THE BAR!! WHAT!?!?! This is even possible?? My armpits start sweating just thinking of this possibility.
So, I decided to poll my friends. I was pleased to see that I am definitely not the only person who is uncomfortable with the idea of eating alone. However, I was shocked to learn that many of my friends have or currently enjoy eating out or entertaining themselves solo (don’t twist that people, that is another post for another day!).
Now that I had started to poke around on the topic, I felt that it was only fair that I make a goal for myself to try eating solo over my summer break. So, about a month ago, I was out, treating myself to an evening to run some errands and shop for Father’s Day and I decided what the hell, let’s do this!
I pulled in 6 different restaurant parking lots if I pulled into one. But I was not about to let indecisiveness be my downfall. I ended up the solid choice of Applebee’s.
I ate at the bar.
I ordered steak and a beer.
There was hardly anyone there, so the conversation was pathetic at best.
My overall feeling on the experience was mixed. If I am going to spend the money eating out, I would much prefer to do it with people I ENJOY and make it a memory. I eat by my damn self all the time and I can do it much cheaper at home.
I am not done. I am going to do it again. I WANT to do it again.
Frankly, I want to shift my thinking to that philosphy that it’s empowering and fun to do what you want, when you want. Versus suffering under the binds that eating solo means you are some sort of failure based on societal standards.
So gals, let’s do this! Own it and do what you want, when you want! I like to think, “What would Wonder Woman do?”
Share in the comments! Thoughts? Opinions? Personal goals?
Peace out peeps!